Reply to getting 5 and 7 yo to listen without yelling

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm losing my mind on our morning and evening routines - DH is gone during the week so its me and our 3/5/7yos trying to get out the door every morning.  Almost every day it starts off well, we have enough time, we're pleasant, they do the big things they have to like eating breakfast and getting dressed....but when it comes to the last couple things when its time to go, they just flat out ignore me or start moving to do something and get distracted until I'm angry and yelling.  I expect this of a 3yo but the 5 and 7yo should be able to hear "get your shoes on and get your lunch and water bottle into your backpack" and do it without me having to repeat myself 4 times and end in yelling.  Similar in the evening - they won't stay in bed after they've been put to bed until I literally yell at them that I'm so angry and they damn well better not get out of bed again.

I've never been a yell-y parent until recently.  I hate it and obviously they hate it.  I was good at the little kid turning things into silly games / giving choices / little reward systems to move things along but the 5 and 7yo have outgrown most of that.  I've tried checklists so I'm not the one telling them what to do and that works for a few days until the excitement wears off.  We've switched to having to get almost everything done before they have free time in the morning and that helps but the last couple things have to be done at the very end and thats where it falls apart.  I don't think starting those last few things earlier would help because they'd just keep ignoring me whether I said it 5 time or 15 times unless i escalate.

Any ideas?  Please don't tell me you "wouldn't allow" them to not listen.  What does that mean?  How do you force it?  What's the consequence at these ages for not? I get that they don't care the same way I do about being on time and whatever game they're playing with each other is more exciting, but I've got to change this.  I hate being the angry yell-y parent.[/quote]

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