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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sadly getting to the age where friends’ parents are dropping like flies. Most of my high school/college friends live across the country (where I grew up) and a good friend’s father passed away a couple days ago, whom I knew fairly well (20+ years ago). Debating on whether I go to the funeral, which is on Monday and would be pretty challenging for a couple reasons - tickets are over $1,000, I have family coming into town for Thanksgiving then (so I wouldn’t be there until the next day at best), and I don’t have any unused vacation days at work (would need to swap a day I was planning to use for my kids’ winter break which is not ideal).

I don’t want to be insensitive and would love to be there for this old friend (who I keep in touch with over text and see for a lunch or coffee once every other year at this point - trying to give context to our current relationship even though we were college roommates and very close many years ago).

What is your position on traveling for friends’ parents funerals. Do I need to suck it up and do it?[/quote] No. You do not need to go to this funeral nor should you given all the parameters you have outlined. My rule is that I travel if I can for close friends. But that means that time and money do not factor into the consideration. If time/money are an issue I don't travel.  Your friend will need you after the funeral. After the initial period of mourning and outpouring of support from others there comes a day where the phone stops ringing and everyone else has moved on. That's the time you need to be there for your friend. On some random day when no one else called to check in![/quote]

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