Reply to So frustrated for DS

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "So frustrated for DS"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP here. It's a new school. It's larger than DS's very small private elementary but not particularly large (way smaller than the public middle). We had a great relationship with the team at his elementary, and it was truly a team working together.

We assumed things would be a little different at this school, but I don't think our expectations have been unrealistic. We shared his neuropsych during the application process and were told he would have an IEP-type plan (which they still have not put in place or communicated with us about). More recently, after an incident, they wrote into a behavior letter that he should meet with the school counselor, but he never did, until we checked in about whether he was going to meet with her because we felt it would help with another new emerging issue. We were told she would follow up with us after meeting with him (their suggestion - not ours), but she never has.

We have been super supportive in our emails to them. We have shared some info about what he's told us about incidents (at their request) and some info about what has worked well for him in the past, including offering to put them in touch with a teacher from his prior school, but they responded with a lot of defensiveness.

With regard to the PP who said we were "too busy" to talk to the school - it's completely the opposite. We have asked for meetings that they never scheduled. We email with information and never hear back. They call us randomly and unexpectedly, and we drop everything to talk with them. In the most recent incident, they called us at 4pm on Monday with some info, but then at 9pm emailed us to say DS shouldn't come to school the next day because they were still investigating (which seemed a bit unfair because although DS had not handled the situation well with regard to confronting the other student, the origin of the situation was that another kid started a rumor that DS did/said something he insists he did not, so he was kind of being punished for something he might actually be the victim of).

It was unclear how long he would need to stay home, and we waited all day to find out, having emailed with some more info and a nicely-worded note that we were disappointed none of this was shared during the phone call and that it was confusing how long he would have to be out of school due to an investigation, rather than something he was actually in trouble for. They finally called us at 5pm, when we were in the middle of a meeting with a contractor we paid to come to the house and also needed to leave to pick up our other child. DH asked if we could call them back in 15 minutes, and they said no - they just wanted to share some info quickly, so they rattled through a few things and were again defensive, and then they suggested we could talk more tomorrow, to which I suggested we set a time so that we were sure we would be available to really dedicate some time to this, and they got irritated by the suggestion. Okay, I get that they are busy and that things come up at school, but if this is so important that my kid needs to be out of school for a day, doesn't it seem like they could find a few minutes for a phone call that they themselves suggested? I've never had a public or private school act like that before. And the reason I pushed for a time was because in the past, when they've said things like "we can talk later," it never happens.

Anyway, yes, I'm angry because the school just doesn't seem to be supporting DS and is acting like everything is our fault when we try to coordinate with them and support what they are doing. I debated whether or not to even say something constructive in the last email because I knew they would get defensive, and sure enough, they did. The only positive way forward seems like if we can get them to see us as allies here, but I'm at a total loss on this. We have other kids and have been at other schools (public and private), and I've never seen anything like this.

Unfortunately, the public school isn't a great option because it's much, much larger. He struggled at a larger school in early elementary because he doesn't have academic needs in terms of an IEP but basically needs consistency and some adult eyes on him and others (i.e. gets upset if others get away with using a cell phone or watching a video on a Chromebook once if he tries it and gets called out for it). We like that his current school is holding him responsible for behavior and paying attention - but it's sort of like they are doing half of it and then stopping short of actually communicating anything useful to us or to him, and supporting him by helping prevent some of it or create positive situations to help him avoid it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics