Reply to “I’m going through a lot”???

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Reply to "“I’m going through a lot”??? "

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[quote=Anonymous]Maybe in the past, you’ve aggressively given unhelpful advice.

When I was divorcing, and my ex was being particularly difficult, if I shared with my mom, she would offer really unhelpful, outdated advice (like “you just need to go to court and get full custody”, which was not going to happen in my situation). She would sulk and pout if I tried to point out why that wasn’t feasible (jurisdiction, modern family law, finances, circumstances), and then accuse me of being a bad parent. I always hung up feeling even shittier than I already did.

So instead, I just wouldn’t talk about it with her.

You could insert any other number of difficult circumstances: maybe she has a health issue and you’re the type to suggest cutting out gluten or drinking a gallon of honey every day. Maybe she’s in unexpected financial trouble, and doesn’t want your advice to cut out Starbucks. Maybe her boss is abusive and knows you will tell her to just find another job.

I suggest just saying something like “I’m here to listen if you need to talk”, and then keep your mouth shut if she does come to you.[/quote]

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