Reply to How to raise children that are gracious and refined?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Treat your kids with respect and you will produce respectful kids.  Model the behavior you want them to have and gently guide them when the misstep.   I sometimes point out people outside our family who have exceptional behavior.  For example to my 8 year old, who doesn't always remember to thank her host, I might say "did you see how Larla thanked me when she left the playdate? Her mom didn't have to remind her. She's so polite."[/quote]

I never compared my kids to other kids.  I think that's rude and hurtful, even when they need to be corrected. I focused on being polite and requiring it of them, not pointing out their flaws as compared to their peers--which in and of itself is not gracious or polite behaviour.

They are in their 20s now, so their manners are pretty well set.  Boarding school in New England helped, as mentioned by another poster.  Modeling at home does as well, of course.  They are kind, empathetic, and definitely have good manners.[/quote]

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