Reply to Does a person have to agree in order to go into assisted living?

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[quote=Anonymous]FIL (90) has been in short term rehab after a series of incidents (falls, pneumonia, UTI, etc.). He is unable to get himself to the bathroom and cannot dress himself or take care of his activities of daily living.  Sometimes he is completely lucid but other times he is hallucinating and certainly does not remember having recent conversations with MIL or any of us about his care.  Medicare is releasing him on Sunday from rehab because he’s successfully walked 40 steps with a walker 2 days in a row.  MIL is a bit younger but not physically able to care for him anymore.  FIL refuses to hire anyone to help MIL with his things…but “she can hire someone to help her clean and unload the dishwasher”.  FIL has no idea how hard it has been on her trying to care for him over the past several months. Many trips via ambulance to the ER, constant bathroom accidents resulting in a ton of laundry, not to mention he’s going to fall and take her down too and break her hip.  He says he will check himself out of rehab on Sunday and take a taxi home if he has to, but he is not under any circumstance going to go to an assisted living place.

As his spouse, can MIL legally put him in AL if he is refusing?  Or does she have to have durable power of attorney for healthcare in place?  DH is prepared to go to the courthouse on Monday and get him declared incompetent if it comes to that.  Does anyone know what our options are here?  BTW, we’ve tried the “it’s just temporary for a week or so until we can get the house ready” excuses and FIL is not buying it.
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