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[quote=Anonymous]I adore my brother and I always thought we were close.

He often calls me, especially when he’s upset, to ask for advice and to vent. He usually calls me once or twice a week and we text in between too.

But for YEARS now, I’ve tried to have a closer relationship with him. I’ve traveled to his city to visit (stayed in a hotel), and in a 4 day visit he only saw me once for 2 hours :(

I’ve invited him to visit me, offered to cover all of his costs for him and his spouse. Or to meet him somewhere. Ive literally told him that I will make whatever date works for him work for me. He will never commit to plans.

Right now, I have a sick kid. Like, he could die. The survival rate over 5 years is 50%. He’s 5 years old. He’s only met my brother once. I want my brother to know him. I want my son to know his uncle. I’ve shared with my brother the situation with my son and he knows it’s serious. And my brother still won’t commit to a visit, and when I tried to press him (gently), he’s now avoiding my calls and texts entirely.

I get that I can’t force my brother to do anything. I just don’t get why his availability is so limited. It seems like he enjoys our phone based relationship but when I try to make it be more, he experiences it as pressure/obligation/stress and shuts down. I’ve only seen him 2 times in 5 years, and I rarely call him. I let him set the pace and meet me where he is. I’m just sad that it’s so limited.[/quote]

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