Reply to Sigh... DD and friends are excluding other kids via group chats

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not a helicopter parent, but I do occasionally check DD15's phone to make sure she isn't doing anything she shouldn't be or saying things she will regret. What I saw yesterday made me grateful that I do this.

DD and her friends have a text message group with 4 or 5 kids. She is also part of a larger text chain with 8 or 10 people. From what I gather, her smaller text chain is a bit cliquey and they make a point to leave out certain kids in the larger group. In the small group, they also make snide comments about these kids, saying things that I know they wouldn't to the other children's faces. DD isn't a main contributor, but she has definitely said things that surprise and sadden me.

Yesterday, I found something she said about how Larla (one of the excluded children) doesn't have instagram or tiktok because if she got it, she wouldn't have any followers. The others in the small group agreed and sent laughing emojis. They also seem to constantly share "bad" or "unflattering" pictures of their other "friends", seemingly without permission.

I'm not sure how to handle this.[b] I don't want to let DD know that I read her messages, because she'll view it as an invasion of her privacy. [/b]But I also know that I wouldn't have found out about this if I hadn't looked through her phone. But I certainly want to bring this up to her. How can I approach the subject?[/quote]

a) she's your kid not your friend, and b) she clearly deserves to have her privacy invaded, she's a bully. [/quote]

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