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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love my boyfriend a lot, but I feel like he has a really hard time regulating his emotions and often dump them on me. For context, he is 25, so I dont know if it's something you grow out of, but when he gets upset he'll often raise his voice or just go on rants.  A few times he has broken into tears, occasionally thrown things or punched walls.  When this happens I get very stressed out and almost feel like my body shuts down, because it seems everything I say makes it worse and I feel like there's no solution. I also didnt grow up around shouting, although my parents were toxic in other ways, so it's very shocking to me.

I guess I want to know how serious this is, if it's something that will change, etc?  We are very serious and talking about engagement but it worries me for the future. I dont know if this is just how it is when certain people are under stress- I get stressed out too but never throw things, punch walls, etc. [/quote]

1) What you describe are behaviors most people outgrow by the time they are 5 or 6 years old. If someone is still doing it at 25 there is no reason to expect it to improve on it's own. In fact, as life becomes more stressful you can expect it to get worse. Yes, people do this, but it's not healthy or normal. It's also terrible to expose kids to it, if you are considering having kids.

2) You know it's wrong, because your body is screaming at you every time he does it. However, it sounds like maybe something in your background (toxic parents?) is causing you to think you should override this reaction and make excuses for him.

Personally, I would end or pause the relationship, and seek counseling to talk more about why you've been tolerating this. If you can't bring yourself to end the relationship, just do the counseling part. Do not get married. [/quote]

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