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[quote=Anonymous]Tough situation.  Loose cannon people are so risky.

You are in a dilemma which doesn't have easy answers.

First goal is to build up your daughter's morale.  You need to help her shore up her courage.  Of course she should apply to reach schools even if the chance is low.  Few people get everything they want, but like the cliche says, "You miss all the shots you don't take".  Don't let her take any schools off her list due to this guy.  Maybe it would help to review what the counselor's form says together (what rating criteria it has).  Try to figure out where the bias might come in, and if you can offset it by your daughter supplying additional evidence (e.g. updating the school "brag sheet" on file, etc.)

2) Mom, you should not contact or deal with the counselor since the counselor has expressed dislike for  you.  That's just practical.  It's not fair, but you want to reduce the jerk's irritation level to get what you want.

3) Realize the counselor's rec probably doesn't matter a lot for most kids.  I saw my career counselor for 15 mins twice during my high school years.  I had a plan (which was stupid) and she didn't try to offer any alternatives because I had a plan.  My kid's counselor was a paperwork ordertaker.  He never received any counseling from her either.  I think it's more normal than not for counselors to know very little about the kids they prep letters for.

3) The nuclear option.  Which I don't recommend.  Call the principal, explain the situation and ask for a new counselor. This could be the more morally correct position, but politically it could backfire.  I suggest that you contact the principal after your daughter graduates and share concerns verbally.

4) Keep in mind that transferring is a possibility, even to some Ivies.  There are always alternate paths to reach a desired goal.  We just don't discuss them very often.  Knowing that few doors are permanently closed is part of having the courage to ignore naysayers.  [/quote]

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