Reply to If your spouse has much higher or lower energy than you do, how do you handle?

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Reply to "If your spouse has much higher or lower energy than you do, how do you handle?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Yeah, this is us, too. I'm not even especially high energy but it's much higher than my spouse.

There are times I get very frustrated and even upset. Like I see other couples going for hikes and bike rides, and I feel sad that this is never going to be us. I love hiking and bike riding, and I can't even get my spouse to come walk the dog with me very often.

And again - I'm not even especially high energy! I love my down time. I work from home and like to stay home a lot at night, too.

I deal with it by making other friends to go do active things with. I have my paddleboarding buddies, and stuff. My spouse also knows that I need SOME time together going out to do things - we find things we can both enjoy. Wandering around a city or town; going to check out a cool store somewhere; going to the movies.

I also try really hard to remind myself that no one person is going to be everything to me. The person I dated for five years before I met my husband - we LOVED going hiking and diving and biking and all that. We both LOVED adventure travel and went all over the world to go to all kinds of things. But also we had a really hard time just living happily together - we got bored talking to each other; there was too much drinking.

I'll choose being a little understimulated but having a partner who I can live in the same house with and always be able to talk to over having someone who meets these other desires. Not everyone has to make that choice, I guess - they like talking to their spouse and also going for bike rides. But it is helpful for me to think in these terms.

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