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[quote=Anonymous]I’m 35 and considering whether to stay in a marriage that has become highly transactional, or to initiate a divorce.

I have two kids in top private schools ages 3 and 6. I’m the primary caregiver and the kids go days/weeks at times without seeing their dad due to work related travel so I don’t think the logistics of a divorce would negatively affect them. What would impact them is the potential financial stress of a divorce.

Only 1 family in our older child’s class is divorced and it seems like a huge social black mark. Happy couples love socializing with other happy couples. On the surface we have been keeping it together, but have both become resentful over time. He has low T so we never have sex, he cheated on me in the past with escorts, couples counseling goes nowhere or is abruptly cancelled when the therapist zeros in on his (somewhat minor) addiction problems. I’ve started sending him texts saying he is a bad example for the kids (not proud of this, but it’s how I feel).

I’m parenting 95% of the time and never have time for socializing. Depression is setting in. I manage real estate on the side along with parenting, but it’s not a fulfilling job and adds to my stress. Husband has encouraged me to interview for a full time role, but says that hiring a nanny would have to come from my earnings (he earns 10x more than what my salary would be) because he’s “stressed” about finances.

I’d love to hear from those who have taken the leap and become divorced (are things better for women on the other side?), or from those who’ve stayed in a marriage of convenience. If the latter, what have you done to make your life more bearable? Do you find a friend with benefits or just mentally (and physically) check out? [/quote]

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