Reply to Strivers — this is what you are up against

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get it. I am really proud that my immigrant DH and I both managed to get into an Ivy from regular public schools and middle class backgrounds. And really proud that we could buy a teeny family house in an ok part of a neighborhood near a fancy neighborhood in a big city.

My DD came home from her private school one day and asked why her classmate lives in such a big house and why we don’t live on the same nice block by the water like her if her mom went to the same college as us. And I explained that the girl’s great-grandparents already lived in that house and were doctors when our family didn’t even live in this country yet and/or had started working in a factory as 13 year olds who couldn’t afford to finish middle school. And I reminded her that she has classmates whose parents are currently doing what her grandparents did for DH and I.

Everyone has a different path. Some paths are a bit…smoother.

The only thing wrong with being born with privilege or advantages is pretending like they don’t exist, or when children pretend it’s something they deserve or have earned.[/quote]

This is a lovely and thoughtful post, thank you.

My parents were poor and didn't go to college, but they were strivers for me and siblings, who all have graduate degrees from state flagships. I want my kid to do well, of course, but am trying to focus on her emotional health too and as a result she may have fewer "achievements" than I did - no plans for Ivy here, and certainly not an Olympian. It's ok. [/quote]

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