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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everytime we have a major disagreement, my husband will retreat into total silent treatment, refuse to respond to me, and threaten separation/divorce. I think we are happy most of the time, he’s a mature person, but then we have a major disagreement and here we are after more than a decade and a half of marriage and multiple kids. It makes me incredibly anxious. Anyone else deal with this? [/quote]

[b]The silent treatment is a form of abuse, if not immediately, then eventually. Read up on it:[/b]
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-chains/202009/why-the-silent-treatment-is-a-tactic-of-abuse-and-control
https://psychcentral.com/health/the-silent-treatment

[b]Repeated threats of divorce are also a tactic of abuse. Your DH does this repeatedly, so it's abusive. If he says it's just his reaction to arguments with you, that is bull; it's still abusive..[/b]
https://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-men-blog/when-threatening-divorce-becomes-abuse

There is much more online about both of these abusive tactics, OP. Please recognize that this is absolutely not normal and is incredibly toxic. You say you "think we are happy most of the time" but BOTH the silent treatment AND divorce threats are the exact opposite of a healthy and happy marriage. Please don't let yourself retreat into the idea that "Well, most of the time things are fine, so I'll just tough out the other stuff."

One threat of divorce? One instance of the silent treatment? Not abusive. But "every time" you argue? Abusive tactics.

Please click this linK for the National Domestic Violence Hotline -- [b]do NOT be fooled by the word "violence" and think, he's never hit me so this doesn't apply. The link is about emotional abuse![/b]
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-emotional-abuse/

Go to the bottom of the screen and call the number there, or go to the live online chat. There is NO story they have not heard, and they can guide you from there. If you're sitting reading this and thinking, whoa, no, I didn't mean to say he was abusive, you are not seeing the forest for the trees here. There may be something salvagable if he is willing to get professional help. Let the experts at the hotline help you determine how abusive this behavior is, if you dont believe me. And you will need to figure out why you two have REPEATED "major disagreements" and why he handles them so horribly.

You are modeling an abusive relationship for your kids. I'm sure you do not want that. Please talk to the pros ASAP and start getting the therapy each of you needs, or start figuring out your next step.

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