Reply to What happens at an initial consultation with a developmental pediatrician?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I'm sorry - I can see that my language was insensitive but with a 3.5 year old boy, a part of me can't help but feel that various people - daycare providers, teachers, etc - are just overreacting and sending us on a never-ending "scavenger hunt" as one PP put it - one that is massively time-consuming and expensive.  THAT is exactly what I fear.  A hunt that leads to nothing but leaves my very young son A) fearful of doctors and B) with the feeling that there is something terribly wrong with him.  And yes, I do have a strong suspicion of all of these "specialists" and the frequency with which certain disorders are diagnosed and yes, medicated.

That said, here are some specifics.  DS is by all accounts perfectly normal - normal height/weight, hitting nearly of his developmental milestones for motor skills, cognitive, language, etc.  For the past 6-9 months we've had some behavioral challenges and minor sensory issues that have emerged, along with a near reversal in sleep habits, from a perfect sleeper to an anxious kid who can't get himself to sleep and can't stay asleep without mom or dad right there.  On the behavior side, he has issues with self-regulation and aggressiveness, especially when angry but also when he is simply overexcited/overstimulated.  He hits, bites (occasionally), and will generally engage in annoying habits like poking at people, licking them, etc.  When he is very upset he will even hit, bite or pinch himself.  He is also expressing sensitivities to sound and generally hates pants with buttons/zippers and the like complaining they are too tight.

RE: sleep we have noticed some incidents that seem like sleep-walking, restlessness, etc.  He also has allegies and snores, so sleep apnea or the like could be a culprit.  He recently moved to a DC PCS PS3 class and his teacher mentioned some episodes of "zoning out" as she put it.

So all of this sent us to our ped, who referred us to Children's for an EEG and neuro consult (to rule out absence seizures), a sleep specialist, and an OT specializing in SPD.  The EEG was inconclusive so they are now recommending an overnight EEG and a consult with a developmental ped.

So basically, I've gone from having what I felt was a normal kid to what the docs are now making me feel is a freaking crisis situation by referring me to every specialist under the sun.  My son is bright and social, and aside from a few challenges is a normal, developing kid.  The shit spiral I feel is my own as all of this is making me doubt myself and wonder where exactly I went wrong here.  I am, as I said, HIGHLY suspicious of all of this, right or wrong.  And I appreciate what all of you are saying about labels, but I don't buy it.  Society DOES label kids, and it affects them.  I have nieces and nephews in these situations and I have seen it affect their self esteem - and be used as a crutch - "I have ADD, so I can't XYZ."  I've watched their parents do it, too - "Well, Susie does have ADD, so XYZ is really hard for her."  I fear that all of this limits kids and is potentially damaging - especially with syndromes that are so nebulous.  As the neuro MD said today, "All of this could also mean he's just being his normal 3.5 year old self."  WTF?  So why am I here then, exactly?

There.  That's my whole life story.  Sorry if I offended anyone.  My question about what to expect at an initial consult still stands so I can prepare my kid for what to expect.  Thanks.[/quote]

My first thought when I was reading through this was absence seizures, so I'm glad they are pursuing this.  Are they also doing a brain MRI?  I don't mean to scare you because this is a very remote possibility, but behavior change plus blanking out would make me want to rule out a brain tumor.  Again, very very unlikely, but its something they should rule out.

Honestly, your child is getting really good and attentive medical care and you should be grateful.  It could be nothing or it could be something (not just developmental but maybe medical) and its great that the doctors are taking this seriously.

You had me until your last paragraph, and then you lost me.  I have one child with AS and ADHD and another with ADHD and both are terrific students with NO self-esteem issues.  I am sorry that your nieces and nephews were raised to think they were somehow inferior but thats not because of their diagnosis, its because of how their parents treated them.  It isn't "society", I know because I live in "society" and my kids are doing terrifically.  The whole label thing is just BS and leads to parents not taking care of their kids, I'm sorry.  if you treat it as a diagnosis, no different from any other diagnoses, and you raise your kids to understand that this is one aspect of who they are but by no means the only defining thing -- as we have -- it isn't a burden.  Rather, it becomes a useful tool for getting them what they need.  Calling it a "label" and railing against all the professionals doesn't get your child what he needs.

I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down.  Seriously, you are leaping ahead to all sorts of scenarios and, even more troubling, you are finding villains everywhere.  There are no villains.  There is just  your young child who is going through a tough time and a team of doctors who are trying to help you.

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