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[quote=Anonymous]I am divorced and been in a long term relationship with another divorced man for almost a decade. We both have children and we both have our own homes where our children reside (all kids in HS now).  We are not blending but our kids know each other, have met our extended families and have grown up knowing their parents are in this committed relationship etc. But we have made a concerted effort not to blend.  My exDH is very supportive of my relationship with my boyfriend and he knows his kids and has supported my kids through it all.  My boyfriends ex wife is the opposite and has gone out of her way to paint us as evil, as those that are taking the resources away from them etc.  It's not true but that's the narrative she has spun.  As the kids have grown, they have become so busy that they barely see each other.  My kids have not seen his kids since April of this year because their lives are so separate but yet his kids are still complaining about how we are there to replace them etc etc.  They're almost out of HS.  So not little kids to believe this nonsense since it's been a decade and we haven't moved in or done anything to jeopardize their security. How do we help them feel secure despite the narrative being spun about us from the exwife?   I feel like my boyfriend has been very hands off and not wanting to badmouth his exwife to his kids but the damage is so clear that it's hard for anyone to ignore as they'll still have tantrums about how we are there to replace them.  
Is this normal? How do we help them move on from this because our relationship is as committed as ever and our kids will be in each others lives. We will probably live together when everyone is in college but no plans till then. At that point, we would have been together for about 15yrs!!!!![/quote]

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