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[quote=Anonymous]My parents had a similar dynamic. My mom was also very controlling but deep down a kind person. She was verbally/emotionally abusive to all of us though. It's a combination of anxiety and OCD tendencies, coupled with low EQ (no filter and no concept of how her actions would alienate ppl). Nothing any of us did was ever good enough. The way my sibling cut a watermelon was unacceptable. When I cut up the vegetables they were not perfectly even and she had to point out the imperfections every. single. time. When I get a B+ instead of the usual A's there'd be hell to pay.

She saved her worst wrath for my dad. She respected my dad's intellect and supported his demanding career, but in daily life she nitpicked on him constantly and treated him with contempt. He put up with it b/c he knew she had a good heart. On big picture items (such as career advancement, home purchases, finances) she did not question his judgment.

My mom was an enigma to me. She'd sacrifice herself without hesitation for any of us. Her love was fierce and immense. At the same time, living with her was not easy. She fixated on a lot of minor things and alienated many ppl. After her death a long time family friend said of her: a heart of gold but a tongue of knife.[/quote]

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