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[quote=Anonymous]DD is above average intelligence generally, superior verbally. ADHD mixed-type, high-functioning ASD (she's blending pretty well). She's a freshman in a private high school. She loves the school and we love the school. But she's not finishing her assignments. She either forgets about them, stops working on them if she gets stuck, or rushes through so she can watch anime or play games on her phone. She has a planner, which she is not completing and doesn't check anyway. She does not have much homework (it should be done at school) and one extracurricular activity that doesn't take up much of her time. She spends her weekends contemplating her navel in her bedroom and watching anime. It's a Herculean effort to get her out of her room. The school is on top of this. We have tried to be, too. We've been checking her grades, asking her if she completed assignments, etc. And yet.

This is so infuriating. She's a smart kid. But-for the incomplete assignments, she'd have A- and As. She's constantly talking about medical school, and I'm like, seriously? You understand that you have to do the work, right? You don't get graded on how much time you spent watching Crunchyroll. Same with the sport. She complains about not getting playing time, but she refuses to practice with us in the backyard, when asked.

Now she's freaking out because the school is getting more hands-on in addressing the schoolwork issue. Whenever we set expectations, we get an epic meltdown: she's a failure, she can't do anything right, no one believes in her, she'll never be happy. It seems like she's trying to deflect, to be honest. I've told her repeatedly that I'm fine with her grades, so long as she does the work and gives it her best, so it's not like she's facing grade pressure.

I know she's transitioning to high school, but WTF is she thinking? It seems pretty basic that if you don't do the work or put in the practice, you don't get the grade or the playing time. Also, more fundamentally, why doesn't she want to any effort into anything?

Does anyone have any advice on how to break through here?

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