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[quote=Anonymous]DH has a corporate role that allows sabbaticals after 7 years.

He approached his boss and has vague approval for a sabbatical of 3-4 months if he wants it.

I’m trying to be open-minded about it, but I’m pretty frustrated and worried. DH is not the type who is going to be helpful during a sabbatical or pursue something valuable for himself. He is medicated for ADHD and a workaholic who stretches his work to fill his time while using multiple screens. He does not have hobbies and socializes 1-2 times/year by traveling to see friends. We both have careers but I do most of the physical labor and all of the mental labor of parenting and running a household.

Frankly I dread when he takes a day or two off, because he just sits around obliviously while I race around doing my usual routine. If I ask him to “help”, he gets huffy and says I don’t trust him to be an adult (I don’t).

Anyway, I told him that he’s certainly earned his sabbatical but I’m curious for what his plan is for that time. He said “why does it matter?!.” For years I’ve asked him to learn the kids’ routine, learn to iron the school uniform shirts, learn to do the girls’ hair, take the initiative to pack lunches and plan meals. etc. He’s always given it a 3 minute attempt and walked off in a huff, so I don’t see him becoming a house husband.

I don’t want to be told I have a DH problem. I do, I know. But I need advice on what is normal when it comes to a non-academic sabbatical. He got angry and said I needed to back off when I asked basic questions about health insurance coverage and his next role.

Help me brainstorm what a disengaged DH could handle during a sabbatical, along the lines of:

-initiating the beginning of a house renovation?
-visiting another area to decide if we should move there?
-taking kids to visit his family?
-taking kids one by one on trips with his friends and their kids?
-training for some kind of athletic thing?
-prepping our house for a sale and looking for a new house?
-intensive volunteer role?
-guest teach at his grad school?[/quote]

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