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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the OP of this thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1216900.page

My parents don't have a very healthy or harmonious marriage (i.e. speak ill of each other to others, constantly bicker and fight even with company over, my dad has secret credit cards, etc.).

Basically, if my mom doesn't agree with something I say or do she will almost always try to pull my wife in (@ mentioning her in iMessage threads, texting and calling her directly to talk to me and "see things the right way"). At first my wife would be polite and indulge her, but it just made the problem worse. Like there's some backdoor escalation point in our marriage if they don't like what their son has told them. I told them in no uncertain terms to please stop involving my wife in their dysfunction and trying to get between spouses, or else they won't see us and our child for a while. Sure enough my mother did it again, defended her action because I was being "disrespectful", and so I have set the boundary.

[b]Am I being unreasonable? [/b]Does anyone have any tips?[/quote]

The fact you even ask this question makes me think you are only at the very beginning of your journey of learning how to manage your parents.  You have to pull back from them and let them go off without being dragged into their mess.

Their emotional response to you saying no is their problem to manage, not yours.  This is a very fundamental lesson that you need to learn. Reread that sentence again and keep it at the forefront of your mind. Put it on a sticky in your bathroom mirror or as the background on your phone.  This needs to be your mantra.  [/quote]

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