Reply to Do you send your kids to friends house with cash?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I assume this is happening because they don't mention the plan until after the other kid's parents have left? If they get together at your house and then decide to go to Sbux or lunch, as they're leaving, you can say "you'll need about $5-10, does everyone have that?" When a kid/a few kids say no, you can say "sorry - you guys will have to plan on lunch next time then." Thus clarifying that you/your kid aren't treating. You can still tell them they're welcome to go walk around downtown and can plan on getting lunch/coffee next time. If that happens once or twice, the kids will suddenly start planning better and will bring $5-10 with them; if you or your kid start paying, it will become an expectation and you may not want to add an extra weekly $20 to your budget.[/quote]

Honestly, this seems harsh.  If my child has a friend over and they spontaneously decide to run to Starbucks, I'm not going to "punish" the other child for not bringing money, especially if it wasn't part of the original plan.  This just seems petty.  I'm actually surprised so many of you are so punitive.  Either make it clear in advance of the plans, or pick up the slack.  Its not a lot of money.  [/quote]

I'm the poster you quoted. It isn't about whether it is a lot of money or not; to some families, 4 people going out to Sbux once a week is a lot and is unnecessary when coffee is available at home. OTOH, there are others where every adult grabs a coffee at Sbux every day. You don't know what someone else's budgeting is like so you shouldn't assume that they'll just cover the cost for your kid. I agree that if you can afford it and it happens once, there is no need to punish the other kid. But as OP has said, these kids are getting off the bus many times a week after school and wanting coffee, salads, and Starbucks - it is not her personal problem (and she didn't say how old they are, but they are pretty much doing what my fellow biglaw associates and I do with our paychecks - why should she fund that for others' kids?). I usually find that when a kid wants to go out with his friends on an unplanned outing like coffee or whatever and he doesn't have money, he says he can't and looks like he feels bad and is apologetic for not having or bringing money. In that instance, I am fine treating a kid once because I know he didn't expect me to. When the same kid does it over and over, you can tell there is an expectation -- that is what the OP needs to avoid.[/quote]

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