Reply to insecure around beautiful friend

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "insecure around beautiful friend"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a female, mid 40's, intelligent and reasonably attractive, with a good career (subspecialty surgeon), wonderful marriage, and happy/healthy kids. In general, I am confident, know my value, secure in my relationships, and do not put a lot of emphasis on looks. However, I have one friend, who is SO drop-dead gorgeous, that I am intimidated by her. Her face, hair, body, skin--everything is flawless. Her fashion sense is amazing. She is confident, eloquent, and (not that it is important) but very wealthy. I find myself comparing myself and in-general--being in awe of her whenever we are together.

Now, this friend is nothing but loving and open with me (we have known each other for about 8 years, have gone on girls' trips together, hang out 2-3 times/month). She always reaches out to spend time together and tells me how much our friendship means to her. She is fun and funny and I enjoy our time together. The problem is, I never feel like I can completely relax around her because she is just SO perfect. Even when she is vulnerable--which is not often--her problems seem so "not-problematic" (I know that sounds horrible).

My question is--I've spent the last 12 years trying to relax into our friendship and be completely myself and vulnerable with her, but I can't. I still need to dress up, do my makeup etc. before I meet this friend. What can I do to not be intimidated by her, and open up to her enough to enjoy her company more fully? I know it's a ME problem, and not HER. It's my insecurities. How do I move on and enjoy our friendship, which I value, and I know she values it too.

PS--[b]I do have a small group of friends who are my ride-or-die, hang out in pajamas sans makeup, love-me-at my-worst friends. [/b][/quote]

So what's the real difference between these friends and the friend you described? Just that she's more "perfect" than they are?

I can see not wanting to grab lunch in your workout clothes and no makeup with someone who just got their hair blown out and is a Chanel suit, so maybe the issue is you feel like you have to be on your best behavior around here all the time because she does the same? I don't think I have any friends like that so I'm just trying to understand. It's almost like you're in the beginning stages of dating her where you want to run to the bathroom to put on some makeup before he wakes up versus the being married 10 years and not being afraid of how you look in the mornings? It's interesting that it's been that way for 12 years, but maybe it's just that if she is always perfect, you feel like you need to be as well. If that's the case, I'm not sure there's anything you can do about it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics