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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "insecure around beautiful friend"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Psychiatrist here. My guess is that it’s her. Whenever you are around someone and they make you feel something you don’t normally feel, it’s almost always coming from them. Anxious people make you feel anxious. Expansive manic people make you feel happy and great, etc. I did have to do a lot of my own work in therapy to figure out what’s coming from me and what’s from my patients, but my guess is that this is coming from her. She feels insecure and you are picking up on it. On a side note, I’m jealous that you have so many friends. As a working mom, I feel like I hardly have any friends. The fact that you have gone on multiple girls trips with her, and she isn’t even one of your closest friends has me incredibly jealous! [/quote] Despite your credentials, I don't completely buy this. I only take on other people's anxiety if I love them and become anxious FOR them. If I'm around someone with expansive manic moods, I have to be in that same head space to enjoy it, otherwise I can find it irritating. I think people seek people in likeminded spaces. That's why friends say thing like, I really get you, or I found my people. I don't disagree that OP's friend could be insecure. And I think it's highly possible she feels intimidated by all the success OP has in her life. But nothing in the OP hints at that. It would just be a guess. OP's friend is exuding kindness, and OP feels intimidated by her looks--according to her. OP needs to wrap her head around WHY that is. Does she resent her? Does she want to be prettier? Does she feel the need to be the most perfect when in a group? Do have the level of success that she does have, has she had to be the best at everything, and this friend touches on a nerve of "not perfect" and that is not acceptable? If she can figure that out, she can either let it go and embrace the friendship, or decide that it isn't worth it to constantly aggravate that insecurity.[/quote]
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