Reply to Estranged mother may need assistance soon

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents divorced when I was young, and while I've remained very close with my father, I've had to distance myself from my mother because she has been manipulative my whole life. Never cut off contact, but have kept her at arms' length, especially since I've had kids and I don't want them to be in the toxic environment that I grew up in. We have visits but they are relatively short.

My mother has made absolutely terrible financial decisions- like taking SS early for no good reason, blowing through her retirement savings on junk she doesn't need, etc. She's in her mid-70s and living alone but her health is deteriorating. Her income between SS and pension is only like $3k/year and her only asset is a 200k house, so there is no way she'd afford assisted living.  DH and I do fine financially (maybe not for DCUM standards) but have three kids so while we save for our retirement and college, we don't have a ton of extra money lying around. If we paid for her assisted living, we certainly could not save enough for college for the three children.

We're at a point of deciding whether to offer to pay for my mother's assisted living, or to just let the system work and have her eventually end up in a Medicaid care facility.  I'm curious to hear from others who have beeb in a similar situation, because I really have no idea what to do.[/quote]

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