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[quote=Anonymous]Our tween DD does not seem able to take accountability for her actions.

Just a few recent examples off the top of my head:

DD is playing on iPad in the afternoon.  
"Did you do your homework?"  "Yes mom."  
Later that night 5 minutes before bedtime, starts doing homework.
"You told me earlier you didn't have any homework, what's this?"
"NO I DIDN'T!  YOU DIDN'T ASK IF I HAD [very specific type of homework]!"

DD has left food wrappers and dishes all over house and in her room.
"Can you please clean up these things?"
"They're not mine!  They are my brother's!"
Ask brother to clean up.  "No, those are definitely my sister's"
Confirm that the wrappers and dishes are DD's.
DD: "UUUGGGGHHH!!! THESE ARE NOT MINE!"

Knock on DD's door to bedroom to talk for a minute.
DD clearly does not want to talk and starts to close the door on me mid-sentence.
"[DD], please stop closing the door on your mom when I'm talking to you."
"I DID NOT CLOSE THE DOOR!  I DID NOT DO ANYTHING!!"

The list goes on.... almost any small insignificant thing becomes a major battle, where DD gets defensive, can't take responsibility for her own actions, and becomes indignant and angry about her innocence.

Welcome any advice.

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