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[quote=Anonymous]Our rule was always no dessert unless you ate protein and vegetable.  I know some parents are anti dessert but I am not and it gave them some incentive.

It is hard.  I have one kid with affid but it wasn’t even really clear until she was a tween.  At least she was relatively consistent in what she ate.  
The involve them in cooking can work for some kids, including even letting them pick recipes from a book.  It doesn’t work for all kids.  We do a lot of meals that are self assembly and can be customized — eg sandwiches, tacos, etc.  we also do a lot of sides so they have choices. I also throw in fruit often at dinner as the nutritional benefits of fruit (fiber, vitamins) are pretty similar to vegetables.  Also try sauces as a bridge for vegetables — eg lemon butter sauce or cheese sauce or peanut sauce or ranch.  And try things like roasted vegetables wit olive oil salt and garlic.  Some kids like things more plain but others need it covered with something.  Unfortunate they are all different.  The recently added kale chips with tajin and they seem to like that, at least for now.[/quote]

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