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[quote=Anonymous]Celebrate what they do accomplish. At this age, it takes incredible perseverance to stick with sports given how difficult it becomes to get playing time, make teams, etc. They know exactly where they stand once kids are making top teams, getting recruited, getting more playing time, etc., so don’t serve platitudes about how they could do the same if they just worked harder or didn’t give up or whatever.

It’s important to validate their hard work because it isn’t going to necessarily be rewarded with success and that’s how life works. I have always been someone who adores sports and tried so hard but I have zero natural talent or ability. No matter what I did, I was always mediocre. I squeaked onto my HS swim team because they were short my stroke for the 3rd entry at meets. When I graduated, my coach said something really meaningful to me in front of the entire team: that I worked just as hard as people who achieved a lot more success from the same amount of work, but I never used it as an excuse or reason to stop working.

I’m not really talented at anything as an adult, but I keep trying at things I care about and let the rest go. It meant a lot to have an adult validate my sense that life isn’t just about hard work. If you’re an untalented person and you can make peace with that earlier in life, it will keep you from banging your head against walls and from unproductive comparisons to others.[/quote]

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