Reply to Invasive MIL - two weeks pp

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[quote=Anonymous]I've posted about my mil before she is super insensitive and invasive when it comes to asking questions and doesn't take hints of not wanting to talk about certain things.

While I was pregnant she would say rude things like why bother with a pump or sterilizing bottles you said you want to breastfeed. Its so easy just put baby on and they eat. I used to stand over my kids crib and I would just start leaking. It's not hard at all. On and on.

It also doesn't help that I work in the birth and labor space and I know all the things and I'm struggling so hard. Too much to mention now but weepy and emotional that this might not pan out for me and baby.

She's two weeks today and after a cascade of interventions at the hospital after a C-section at 38 weeks 5 days we are triple feeding/but she won't really latch unless it's with a shield/she's exhausted/minimal of any milk transfer. She can't open wide- tie and tightness. Poor girl. I'm pumping every 2-3 hours and only getting 1oz. Yesterday was a fluke and one session I got 2.5. but it usually takes me 60 min of on/off to get 30-50 mls.

Since coming home Mil asks is she nursing?  is she only getting breast milk? do you feel your let down? So she's only had breast milk? Has she had bottles? Over and over and over again. Every single time we've talked to them. I have admittedly tried to avoid m but once a week now she asks the same question about feeding. I don't understand why she can't just shut up about it or when we say yup she's healthy and growing she leaves it be.

The first time DH saw me tearing up and covered saying everything is fine. She's eating and growing. But she insists well I didn't hear larla say it. She will ask me directly if I'm nursing and exclusively and if I'm feeling my let down all the time.  We have just been lying and saying yup everything is great. Going well.

It's exhausting. DH says she's just curious. But normal people don't ask this stuff. She's fixated on our feeding journey and it sucks. I already think about it 24/7.

I know at some point they will have to visit and we will have to tell them no things aren't going well actually. TBH we planned to have them visit after 4 weeks but now I don't want them to come until we get feeding under control. But what if we never do? They come over and baby is on expressed milk/formula supps and I'm still pumping every 2hrs. I don't even know what to say at this point. I don't even want them here.

I just already feel like such a failure I can't even feed my baby. And to have these questions asked with such judgement. And it is judgement. She also says stuff like well it can't be that warm to have her in just a diaper. Yes it is. We are doing skin to skin all day. Or she saw me doing suck exercise with baby on zoom and it looks like I'm just using my finger as a pacifier and she has to comment on well a pacifier would be better. And she did this with her kids and she was the perfect mom. And at the end of the day I'm just not. And we are only two weeks in [/quote]

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