Reply to At what point do you decide on a gap year?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son is a top student, 35 ACT, etc. 
He talks about wanting to go to college and with a lot of prompting has created some semblance of a list.  To get here we basically had to beg him to sit down for 30 minutes last weekend because his school college counselor was insistent that he needed to turn one in.  He pretty much half-assed the conversation--gave us some names but he's never once looked up a school, researched anything, etc.  He has grudgingly gone on some tours.  I say grudgingly because he generally complained the entire time.

I hired a college essay writer and because of her (and a few deadlines) he wrote a rough draft of his personal statement.  However, the next iteration of this is pending his edits and he's been sitting on this for 3 weeks with no progress.

He has every excuse in the world why he can't do college things on the weekend.  He has back-to-back social things, he just scheduled himself to work every Saturday at the job he held over the summer, he has sporting events to go to, and on and on. He is literally running from college tasks.  We never see him anymore as he's out of the house for 18 hours a day on the weekends.

He knows the application deadlines are looming (5 weekends away for the first ones) and he says "I'll get things done" but then every weekend he schedules himself back-to-back.  I half expect him to start volunteering at a soup kitchen and working at a second job.  It truly feels like he's making things up to avoid the college tasks.

At what point do we talk to his college advisor about a gap year?  He just really seems unable to face this change.  I believe that college (fully funded at that) is a huge gift and we're not going to spend endless energy trying to beg him to engage in the process. My husband disagrees.  He's fine with writing the essays for my kid.  [/quote]

You are complaining that he won’t engage? Where did he learn that?

Maybe from having parents who refuse to parent? Set boundaries. “No, you don’t get the keys to the car until you do X.”

You are failing to acknowledge your mistakes in creating the situation. You are raising an entitled kid.  Are you going to write his college papers too?

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

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