Reply to When people say you still have feelings for your exH because you’re angry

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s true though.  You are expending energy on him, even if it is negative energy.  It’s fine to be annoyed at actions and things he does. But if you are angry enough that other people are telling you that you seem to be spending a lot of emotional energy on him, that is a sign that you aren’t ready to evict him from taking up mental space in your brain.

When thoughts of your ex, even annoying things he does, result in you just shrugging your shoulders with a “meh,” you will know what we mean.

If you’ve ever dated someone who always ranted about their ex, you might know what I mean.  It’s clear they aren’t over their ex.  You can’t be THAT angry and invested in the anger if you don’t care about them.

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DP. I think you don’t understand. How can OP stay neutral and “meh” when her ex is actively making her life worse and possibly hurting her kids? It’s a stupid pop culture notion that hating someone means you care about them. It may be true that wallowing in hate has secondary benefits or is a dynamic that OP is stuck in …. but it’s stupid to think she’d be neutral in the face of a contested divorce or secretly actually cares about him. [/quote]

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