Reply to One member of friend group keeps taking group chats to specific members and I’m over it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am part of a friend group where we use text to make plans with each other. On multiple occasions I have come to find out that one member of the group is spinning up side text threads with specific members of the group in a way that really looks like they’re trying to exclude one or more people from attending the event. I have no idea how to address this but it’s childish and getting old, and the other members that are getting invited to the spinoff chats are reaching back out to the others saying, hey the plan is still happening, do you want to come? Not sure why X person keeps doing this would love everyone to come.

Any thoughts welcome! This person is recognized as pretty sour and difficult by personality so need to find a way to get them to stop trying to be so exclusive. [/quote]

I don’t think there is a way to address this directly without coming off as controlling especially since it sounds like you are not in the spin-off chats. If the people in the spin-off chats have an issue with it, they can address it indirectly via actions with a +Larla to add the folks back into the conversation or only respond about plans on the main thread and ignore the group spin-off chat from this person.

If the members of the spin-off chats are feeding into it, you need to take a closer look at those friendships. If the person creating the spin-offs isn’t getting the reaction they want they will either stop or be forced to say why they are intentionally spinning off the small groupie. You don’t change toxic behaviors by feeding into it, but rather by depriving it of fuel.[/quote]

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