Reply to Helping MIL and DH figure out how much care FIL w/ Alzheimer's needs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here is the problem, OP. If they are looking at MediCAID nursing homes, they will take the money your ILs have and leave the "community spouse" with a monthly stipend to live on. Depending on how long your FIL lives, they might also take the house.

Make sure you understand what you're getting into.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks so much. DH has engaged a lawyer to help MIL work through all this and we are figuring out this spend down process/an annuity/etc (I know I sound really uninformed here, I promise I’m not, it’s just so much to write on DCUM) I’m just overall so worried about know he needs far more care than he’s getting and it seems like MIL/DH are getting bogged down in feelings v rational decision making. 
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OP, emotion is involved, no way around that. And while you are saying you understand the Medicaid process, then you know there is a 5 year loopback. If he needs care now what are you going to do? What I am saying is that you sound as if you want a scenario that doesn't exist. Nursing home is Medicaid--but you don't want to pay for it by signing over IL's assets. If he needs more care and you don't want to go the Medicaid route, and don't want expensive private pay, then look into the at home care places.

I will also add, having been through this, if there isn't unlimited money for this, there are no great solutions and it's horrible to deal with for everyone.

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