Reply to Senior Living -- More Expensive, More Rules??

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[quote=Anonymous]I am basically the next of kin for my 87yo uncle by marriage. I will have power of attorney if he loses his mental faculties, executor of his will, etc. He is in a very nice senior living facility. He is quickly losing his eyesight and his meds are losing their effectiveness for his various health issues (e.g., congestive heart failure). He is not happy in his current facility, because they call him out when he yells at them, he calls them about many gripes (eg, why doesn't the management adjust the building temperature every day so it is not too hot or cold), tells him he needs to dress for meals in the eating area (eg., you can't come down in your pajamas), other residents only drink water with their meals (e.g., won't have cocktails), etc.

He is a good person generally but he is A LOT. He calls me to complain regularly, but I empathize a lot with the staff. Not all the time, but more than half the time. Other residents have complained about him. He's been in this place less than a year and wants to move to a better one. He'd like one with a pool and fewer rules, and is willing to pay more for it. I'm thinking that if he thinks a more expensive facility is going to let him come down in his old PJs for meals, he has another thing coming.

He has money, but not that much money. The current place required me to agree to pay if he couldn't. I had a virtual heart attack when he'd sold his house and expected me to agree to this when I have kids in school, and an elderly 80yo parent and 80yo in-laws -- all out of state as well. To be honest, I will be in trouble if my uncle runs out of money and can't pay. My mom needs assistance too. Moving my uncle was not easy for a multitude of reasons and trying to get people to help (even hired ones) is going to be difficult. He used up pretty much any good will he had with former neighbors and others. He lives out of state and I've already traveled to help multiple times (and he's changed plans on a whim like moving up the sale of this house by 4 months and expecting everyone to hop too at the end of November). I cannot handle another move unless it is to assisted living for various reasons.

What I'm looking for is input on the relationship between the cost of rent and residential rules. Maybe these aren't the right words. I'm not sure how to phrase my question. Maybe it's more like, are more expensive senior living places more tolerant of high maintenance residents? My uncle expects staff to be his own immediate on-demand personal team. I wish I were joking. He told me his current standard operating procedure is to act like everything is an emergency, so people will do things quicker.

Sorry for the long, meandering post. I'm just tired and I'm trying to figure out how to respond to him. He's now told everyone (except the senior living facility yet) that he's moving at the end of his lease in November. It didn't work last year when I told him people are busy at Thanksgiving and Christmas time, and it didn't matter. OK. I'll stop for now. [/quote]

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