Reply to Time for Nursing Home?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Time for Nursing Home?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If FIL has stated he does not want to be put in a nursing home, I would respect his wishes. Would you want to be in a nursing home in the final stages of your life? I would look into govt agencies that may be able to help and leave the final decision to your husband and his siblings.   [/quote]

Then you should show up for OP and her family and provide all the exhausting, demoralizing, often embarrassing and always time consuming help they’re looking for. There are no “government agencies that may be able to help.”  That’s Medicare/Medicaid.

All that said, “hospice” is a concept/ethic and a benefit program. It is not necessarily provided in a “nursing home.”  Indeed, the most common mode is home hospice with primary care by family members. That’s what OP’s father seems to be getting.

A generic “I don’t want to go to a[n unspecified] nursing home” is not the same as “I’m unwilling to give my family a respite while I get better care under their supervision in a place dedicated to providing exactly such care.”  There may be a place where OP’s father would be comfortable in a comparatively non-clinical setting that would meet his needs without exhausting his family or destroying them financially.

I wonder if OP’s father, despite being in some kind of hospice program, simply isn’t ready to let go and thinks of “home” as a safe place despite the realities. I wouldn’t blame him for that, and I certainly don’t think anybody should be hurrying him along. I knew a man whose family took him to an inpatient hospice with the explicit idea that he was going there to die. I don’t know how he felt about it, but it made me feel like the last trip to the vet with a dog, except in this instance the person knew what was coming.

OP’s family seems to have tried the “at home” option and found it inadequate. If they can get more home resources via Medicare/Medicaid that would be great. If not, a dedicated hospice facility might be a better choice. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics