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[quote=Anonymous]This is all so very typical for many 10 year olds. I get wanting to decrease exposure for your kid but there are a lot of 10 year olds out there like this. Some of them are trying on identities. Some of them are coming into their true selves. Time will tell. The venn diagram of kids with autism who are also nonbinary is almost a full circle. They can’t all be mistaken about themselves.

I would say your friends may need to do more to support their kid. That therapist who says they’re “trying things on” may be correct but also may be invalidating deeply held self knowledge. They should get neuropsych testing at least.

Full disclosure - I’m the parent of a trans autistic tween. We had our kid tested. We got a new therapist because we needed someone he felt comfortable talking with about his gender identity. Without that trusted adult he would just get all his ideas of LGBTQ from other tweens and YouTube.

Time will tell if it will hold. Our kid is not dark though. But he does struggle to connect with lots of other kids and our friendships have shifted accordingly. In some cases we just hang out as adults now. No hard feelings. Our kids just don’t gel anymore. That’s natural as they move into tween years and specialize in different interests.

If you do decide to limit your child’s exposure to the 10 year old be careful how you talk about this change with your own kid. You don’t want the 8 year old believing your family doesn’t support this journey. Kids make weird assumptions. Stay positive about the other family even if you don’t all get together as much. [/quote]

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