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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]AFAIK I am NT.
However I hit myself as a child and still feel the urge.

Two motivations based on feeling condition love when young.
1. Hurt myself to show I know I am bad/disappointed you and hope it will make you forgive me and love me again 
2. Punish myself to make stress of disapproval or conflict stop. As in see I punish myself so you don't have to please stop it.
Not saying OP is doing anything wrong just my experience. Husband is horrified by this and made me promise never to do it. Only slip up now and then. [/quote]

Thank you. This is very interesting and to a certain extent, I understand the logic and it might apply to him. A lot to think about.

What would have helped you though? If you could control how your parents interacted with you as a child, what would you have them do? [/quote]

Huh. Never thought about it.
I guess be less obviously and subliminally invested in my accomplishments and achievements. Not getting so much vicarious pride out of my grades, test scores, activities like science fairs. Not pushing me to speak up in class, be a "star student " Not comparing me to others and making sure I was top dog (Mama's term).
They never said stuff like we love you just for being you.  Or as long as you have fun that is what matters, not whether you are good at it.
Maybe stuff like that. Dunno.
Anyway it was clear to me by 4 or 5 I was a trophy kid.
[/quote]

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