Reply to How do you deal with gnawing guilt?

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[quote=Anonymous]You are not alone in this OP.  I had two whole years of tough decisions, second guessing, putting my life on the back burner, constant guilt and massive anxiety when I was trying to do the best by my mom.

To be clear your parents moved to Independent Living but your dad needs Assisted?  Are they in a place where they can both move to Assisted together, even though your mom doesn't need it yet?  It took my mom several weeks to adjust to any move I made with her, and unfortunately I went the Independent>Assisted>Memory Care when in retrospect I should have skipped Independent.

Break the decisions and the chaos into one step at a time.  Triage whatever can be back burnered.  Once you get them stabilized somewhere you'll be able to breathe but I do call this time in our parents lives as "the calm between the crises".  You'll get through this but you need to remember to put your own oxygen mask on first.  I lay some fault on our elderly parents for not planning better.[/quote]

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