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[quote=Anonymous]As our kids have gotten older and started to go to college, some of my long-term friends and I have been able to find more time to get together. These are women I’ve known for 15-30 years. At various times, we’ve been close, but then life circumstances made it hard to see each other.
This past year, I’ve had walks, coffee, dinners out with these friends - they don’t all know each other btw, they are from different parts of my life. I’m finding that I’m not necessarily enjoying the company, which makes me really sad. Are our quirks just showing more? Why can’t I tolerate it more?

Some examples:
1. Friend A was always analytical in a very smart, interesting way. Now seems neurotic at best, and somewhat paranoid at worst. 
2. Friend B always had a big personality, big heart. Saw her this week, and she was constantly interrupting (this was a gathering of 4 people, not just me), mocking people with different accents (she acted like she was being humorous), boasting about telling people to F— off (but literally using the word to those people)… seemed to have major impulse control issues. Not a fun girls night out for me at all.
3. Friend C was always incredibly thoughtful and analytical. Very sweet. Now she’s a broken doormat (sounds mean, but I’m trying to condense), thanks to her emotionally abusive ex husband. Conversations revolve around spending 10-20 minutes parsing his texts and how precisely to respond. This is not new - has gone on for years, which is why I eventually distanced myself.

My life has also had ups and downs (including some big downs), but I try to have balanced conversations/relationships with people. I also try to self-reflect and improve my social skills. I’ve been so happy to see these old friends, but disappointed that instead of feeling like coming home, it has felt stressful or uncomfortable.

I am open to being part of the problem, but I really don’t think it’s just me. Maybe aging is both making us all more quirky AND reducing our ability to be more tolerant? Has anyone else experienced this?[/quote]

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