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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I was a child, I would sometimes visit the house of my aunt's parents. This would be my aunt married to my mother's brother, my cousins' grandparents.

The grandmother was very sweet and offered us food.

The grandfather was funny. He used to say "You're so ugly," and we would laugh. I honestly think he was just joking. I grew up in a tough neighborhood. It was the 1970s, and kids were tougher.

Anyway, recently my aunt told me that I thought her father was just joking but he really did mean I was ugly.

I laughed. I said I had very high self esteem and must not have cared.

[b]My aunt has some mental health issues[/b]. She is always talking about how beautiful someone is, particularly women and girls. She will watch TV and comment on someone's beautiful face and go on and on about how beautiful they are.

I find myself now unable to shake why my aunt would feel the need to tell me this, [b]like she purposely wanted to hurt me herself.[/b] I am 54. Why does she think I would care what her dead father thought of my ugliness as a child? Couldn't she have kept that to herself? She is the one who thought and probably still thinks I am hideously ugly. [/quote]

She did want to hurt you, probably because of her mental illness. Just remind yourself that what she is saying is not true and is undoubtedly some projection about herself (like she feels ugly so she is trying to make other sfeel that pain).

I would treat her the way I try to treat every weird relative "Yes, Linda, you've mentioned that. I wonder if we're getting the rain they predicted?" [/quote]

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