Reply to How did you manage declining spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel for you. That sounds like the most difficult situation I could imagine. I would start (even though it might not be the most fun when you're drowning) with going over assets, insurance policies, FMLA, benefits if applicable from the military, reaching out to family members/friends, etc. for help with the kids. Try to figure out what you have to work with financially so you can plan next steps. Can you cut back on activities you do with the kids to the bare essentials that they need for their own mental health? If you haven't already, make sure wills, POAs, and Advanced Medical Directives are in place so you can step in to take over for your DH and in case something happens to you, someone can step in for you.

Just remember that anger is part of the grieving process and you will be doing anticipatory grieving. Plus no one will understand what you are going through. You are going through something deeply traumatic and unfair, and anger will be a part of that.

If he does have cognitive issues, it is tough but lower your expectations to zero. It's not that he won't do something, it's that he can't. Like expecting a 3 year old to be able to read a chapter book. Cognitively they cannot do it. It's scary and frightening, which is where the anger comes from, but they are not the same person they used to be.[/quote]

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