Reply to Family friends stay friends as they grow up?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My definition of family friend is different.

Our family friends are friends WE had before we had kids.  When we all had kids, we continued those friendships, which were based on liking each other and commonalties totally outside of our kids.  Our kids ended up spanning ages and they are more like cousins than anything else.  We all live in this general area but they don't go to school together.  Do they love each other every minute?  Did you love all your cousins?  Maybe not.  But they are relationships they've had in their life the whole time and it ebbs and flows.  Yes as they grow into teen years they don't always participate in everything we do as a group and that is also totally fine.[/quote]

+1 exact same situation here. I think these friendships have more longevity in part because we never viewed our kids as needing to be close or to get most of their socializing from these friends. Again they are like cousins -- they hang out together when the adults get together and there's an age range but the kids are different and their differences are fine. Also we don't get together with these friends all the time. Though we're all local we live in different neighborhoods and our kids attend different schools. We see each of these sets of friends maybe 4-5x a year. Occasionally we travel together.

I think the problem with friends you make through your kids is that there is often this expectation that the families will be in lock step together in terms of schools and activities and holidays. I like that with these other families those expectations don't exist and I think it keep things more mellow and easier. I also think the fact that our kids are of various ages and in different schools and activities means there's less competition and direct comparison. It also gives the kids the opportunity to learn from each other because their varying ages and experiences mean they all bring something slightly different to the table. Again like cousins.[/quote]

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