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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother is similar. Comes to visit and wants to do shopping and lunches. Makes constant comments about how miserable I must be with the “crazy schedule” I have of kid activities. (Each kid does one extracurricular -neither of which is excessive.) 
She’s not interested in spending much time with my kids aside from getting the obligatory cute grandkids pictures to share with her friend group.
I look at other people whose parents are involved and engaged grandparents and I just feel sad. I would have so much more time for her if she spent it with my family and my kids. We used to be so close but it’s hard to have a deep relationship with someone who isn’t interested in my kids at all or who subtly implies she resents them. I chalk it up to being a selfish boomer. Which is probably unfair. [/quote]

This issue can go both ways. My MIl and SIL do not live locally but are very engaged and want to spend more time with our family and kids than we can handle. The expectations are exhausting. If we say no, we get guilt and the assumption we must not love or care about them. They have come up with ideals for how they want to spend their time with our kids and we are expected to deliver. It often becomes a dispute because we are not prioritizing their wants and emotional needs over our own. It’s hard to find balance. [/quote]

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