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[quote=Anonymous]I'm 49 and somewhere in the midst of perimenopause.  I don't have a uterus because I had a hysterectomy following a complicated birth 10 years ago (so I'm not sure if I would still be having periods or not).  I do have my ovaries.

I started HRT (started on oral estrogen 1m/daily and currently on 2mg/day) about 18 months ago for hot flashes, mood changes (anger and depression) and insomnia.  It's prescribed by my PCP. The depression was pretty bad--very dark thoughts and constant thoughts of suicide as a relief from the dark thoughts.  If you haven't been there, it's just relentless--unable to ever stop feeling dark, pointless, down. [u] KNOWING intellectually that it's depression and that your kids/husband/friends need you but never, ever being able to shut off the mental dialogue of darkness. [/u]

Things were quite a bit better for most of the 18 months since starting estrogen--with some very isolated weeks here and there where I was dark.  In fact I would say that my mood was consistently better than it's been for most of my adult life!!

Fast forward to the last 3 months or so and the relentless darkness is back with very little respite from it.  Occasionally brighter days.  But it just pounds away.  I can't think myself out of it.  I can't exercise out of it or do things to get away from it (a day with my husband/kids, a conversation with a best friend, a good meal, sleep, etc).  Nothing stops it.

I share that just to share what my mental reality is like.

Do you have any thoughts on what I could do or try?  I have tried anti-depressants about twice in my adult (16-49) life but on both occasions I never took them for more than 6 months.  I would have side effects (feeling jittery, weird, whatnot) and both times didn't feel like the meds did much to help my depression which was mostly hormonally related and pretty mild.

Should I ask my doctor to start progesterone?  I was not prescribed this as part of the HRT because I don't have a uterus.  I don't think there is a medical negative to taking progesterone without a uterus but it's just not medically necessary. However, I've read that progesterone has a calming effect on mood. 
Are there supplements that I can try?  I'm on no meds (for anything) but the estrogen. 
Should I start meds? (an SSRI?)
I am really struggling here.  Thank you so much for any thoughts. 
[/quote]

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