Reply to Narcissists who are very good at "therapy speak"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is toxic workplace behavior and should not be tolerated - can you take it to a superior?[/quote]

I already discussed with my direct supervisor with whom I have a good relationship and she was like "don't worry about it -- I don't listen to gossip." Which is reassuring on one level but the thing is I know that others in management DO listen to gossip and the person spreading this gossip is also in management. There is no HR and something like this will be handled "ad hoc" which could mean anything -- there is no set procedure and I could ask for some kind of process for addressing it but there is no way for me to know in advance what that would look like. I also can't tell if my supervisor would support me or if she'd prefer I just drop it -- I sense she doesn't really like this person but also has to maintain a functional work relationship with them.

I feel very frustrated because I do like my actual job and the work I do with our clients. But the behind the scenes cultures is super gossipy and cliquey to begin with and now that I've been targeted by this woman I feel like it's going to be hard for me to feel comfortable there. People area also very social with lots of happy hours and workplace events but I am married and have a kid so I don't go to as much of that as others can (it's mostly single and childless people) so I also feel like it's easy for people to believe whatever about me because they don't interact with me that much outside of work but they interact with each other a lot.

It just sucks because I was so excited to get this job and think I'm pretty good at it and would not be able to do quite the same work elsewhere. But I feel like I have no recourse and now if I seek to have it addressed the line on me is that I overreact to things and am "emotionally immature" (and apparently have a drinking problem). This is made worse by the fact that I do cry easily so I am sure that in any situation where I had to talk about this situation I'd wind up getting teary and while I don't think that's a weird response to be badmouthed by colleagues I think it could be read as being over-emotional and just play into this same narrative.

I know I'm writing whole novels on here but I'm very frustrated with the whole thing and feel like this woman basically baited me into getting upset so she could be like "whoa this lady is nuts" and I walked directly into it. I guess I was naive and just assumed there was a baseline level of human decency that people in a professional environment would stick to. Thanks for reading to anyone who made it through these posts![/quote]

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