Reply to Narcissists who are very good at "therapy speak"

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Narcissists who are very good at "therapy speak""

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Is this the worst kind of person? I have someone like this in my life right now and it's infuriating because they *sound* self aware and even knowledgable about stuff like boundaries or not taking on other people's feelings but they manipulate everything to serve selfish purposes and then will condescendingly explain that things must be done as they say specifically because after all they are experts in human relationships and mental health.

Example: This person speculated to a number of friends and colleagues that I had an alcohol problem (based on literally nothing -- I rarely have more than one drink when I'm out because alcohol makes me tired) and when I confronted them about this later they used my upset about it to explain to me that I need to work on my "emotional regulation" and that it "seems like you struggle with criticism... probably because you need to work on self-compassion." But actually I was just justifiably irritated that someone I work with spread a false rumor about me to other people I work with that could damage my professional and social reputation.

I'd love to be able to say "oh no one believed them because they do this all the time" but they have other narc qualities like being very good at recruiting people to their point of view and surrounding themselves with approval-seekers who will support them in everything they do.

Anyway now I am doubly frustrated because this person is now gossiping about how I "flipped out" on them for "offering constructive criticism" (they didn't even bring their apparent concerns about my drinking to me -- I only found out about it later when others told me what was being said) and criticizing my "emotional regulation." And the thing is I know I had a big reaction to their behavior and it would have been better to play it cool and stay very calm but the reason I got upset is that what they did was such a majorly inappopriate and hurtful thing. Like it has real consequences for me if I get a reputation for being unstable or have alcohol issues at my job. So while I know I should have stayed really calm it also feels like their actions were designed to provoke an angry response specifically so when I got upset they could point at it and say "yes look how out of control she is."

Ugh how do you deal with someone like this.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics