Reply to Is my sister a bad house guest or am I off base?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She just has different expectations than you. She might think having a meal would be taking up your time or something. But use your words and ask for what you want.

"Brenda, I feel a little used when you stay at our house because you never seem to want to spend time with us - it seems like you just want to stay with us for free lodging. We would really love to have a couple of meals with you, and have time to bond. Is that something you're interested in?" [/quote]

Interesting - this would be very direct of  me and would definitely bring the issue to the forefront. Whenever I have thought about saying something I have gotten anxious about it. This probably touches on some family of origin issues around being direct and how someone ends up exploding if you are direct.

I think I may need to continue to take the approach of no, that won’t work for us. I feel so awkward (and am stressed she will get very upset) if I say something like “it would be nice if you were to stay with us if you would share a meal with us or take us out to dinner one night”.[/quote]

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