Reply to Divorcing Spouse Because They Won't Condemn Parents.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've posted before about how DH and I nearly didn't get married because of his inability to have my back with his family. His extended family was far worse than his mother and father but, in essence, he was more comfortable with them being rude to me than the conflict it would cause to call them out. :evil:

I, of course, was hurt and outraged. We went to relationship counseling over it. Our relationship started while we both were living overseas and by the time we came back to the US, we were living together. So, I had no clue what I would be experiencing. We were 2 months from the wedding when, during counseling, I told him we would not be getting married and my plan to recoup deposits where I could. I was, absolutely, serious.

Now-DH got his head out of his a55 and we worked things out (great counselor) but it was a good 15 years before DH fully acknowledged/comprehended just how wrong and damaging his response was to our relationship.

We're in a good place now but I still harbor some resentment because he didn't really hold them accountable, he just avoided them - which is more, it sounds like, your DH is willing to do. [b]I'd absolutely divorce over it. You deserve better. You have your own friends and family who love, like and want you around. Don't give your time to a55holes. You don't need them.[/b][/quote]

Np. Same situation except we aren’t in a good place now lol. 
I walked thru a field of red flags….
I should have divorced. I still should….
It’s a huge boundary red flag issue when your spouse doesn’t view you as the team, the one he chose. I have said countless times to mine- you’d rather get mad at me for pointing out the conflict than them for causing it…

I didn’t have the courage to leave. I still don’t. [/quote]

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