Reply to Discipline and your spouse - if one person is much more strict...

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[quote=Anonymous]We have 2 kids: 2 and 3. DH is a very strict parent. He says No a lot and gives frequent time-outs. He has lightly smacked the younger one several times. He thinks I am defying him/not on the same page/questioning his parenting/disresepcting him because I am much more free-range and do not agree with his harsher methods. He also blames me when our kids acts up (the older one was recently really whiney in a restaurant and I look her outside for a time out and he totally blamed me and my "permissiveness" for her tantrum. I blamed the fact that food took a long time and she was too-hungry and tired.)

I have encourgaed him to read books about parenting or talk to our friends or look it up on dcum, but he seems unwilling to admit that he could be wrong.

He is also a loving, caring person; he just has this image of kids behaving perfectly all the time. And, frankly, he grew up in a very strict household with a lot of rules and restrictions, which he feels were the "right" thing to do.

So, here is my current problem: my parents, who live pretty nearby, have visited us the past 3 weekends in a row and they called me last night to say that they are unvomfortable with his parenting style - my mother said it makes her sick to her stomach b/c he is too harsh and too quick to smack/ time-out. My mom is a VERY free-range grandparent/parent. I feel somewhat accused by her distress: as if I am letting my DH abuse the kids.

Incident she described: I was going to a funeral; DH had to work and kids needed to get fed while GP were here. I got McDonalds, kids started eating, then GP arrived and DD wanted to get up and hang out with them. DH got really angry; told her she could not get up til she finished and put each subsequent bite in DD's mouth, even while her mouth was full. My mother responded a little hysterically "she's gpoing to become bulemic if you keep foere-feeding her. I do beleiev the forec-gfeeding wass wrong, but i think he got over-whlemed with having to care for both while i suddenly disappeared when he needed to work at home and the in-laws showing up, He does NOT handle acute stress well.

So, what would you do?[/quote]

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