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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Exactly—I just don’t need this in my head.

To the PP who said he loves you and your mom—of course he does.

Except now I know that love includes being able to seriously betray. That’s not nothing so please, in this support forum, do not minimize my totally normal emotions. The way I was raised, cheating on your spouse is in fact a catastrophe. [/quote]

What some people are trying to say is that instead of desperately resorting to a moral superiority defense ("the way I was raised"), you might, at the mature age of 50, have developed a more complex understanding of human emotions that go beyond the infidelity=betrayal=bad arithmetic and graduated to a tolerance for human failing, comprehending that no human can be 100% trustworthy even if they want to be, that betrayal and love often coexist, and that you should be able to manage conflicting emotions about your loved ones simultaneously.

I understood all this at a young age. It should not come as a surprise to you at 50.

But all this is moot anyway, because the likeliest scenario is that your father is fabulating! Personally, inventing stories due to dementia or recounting snippets of bad behavior from the past would be all the same to me, in your situation. Past history, nothing criminal, I really wouldn't care either way - my job is to keep them alive and reasonably comfortable until it's not possible anymore. My 70 year old parents have been together for 50 years. I KNOW they care for each other. If one were to suddenly admit to an affair, it wouldn't faze me at all. Love is stronger.
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