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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]S/O from the other thread about moms choosing which kids to invite and similar threads about the social aspect of parenting.

A lot of posters respond to threads like that with "the moms are friends"  and that moms are arranging friendships for their kids with the kids of the mothers they are friends with. Other threads often offer the advice to not make friends with your kids friends' parents and keep a safe distance.

So...which one is it? Make friends with other parents to make sure my kid is included? Or avoid making friends with other parents so it does not get too messy as the kids get older?

I am a normally outgoing person but have developed a weird social anxiety in parenthood. "Do they like me?" "Is my kid getting excluded? Are they getting excluded because of me?" "Am I am outcast among the mothers?"  Its dumb, I know.

I shouldn't depend on other parents for friendships, but as my kids get older, I realize [b]all my free time is going to be spent with them and travel sports and school events.[/b] I have become jealous of the kids whose parents make friends with another set of parents and the kids all play together...are my kids doomed because of me or do I just wait until they are older? And do the dads matter in any of this or is all on the mothers?[/quote]

All your free time won't be spent that way because many activities are drop off or after school through the school. I favor being polite and friendly with other parents but not going out of my way to be buddies with them because it just gets awkward when the kids don't like each other. And some kids are just very fickle about friendships.

The early years when friendships are driven by the parents do not last long. Before you know it your kid is old enough to make their own friends, and at that point they will resent the he|| out of being forced to hang out with "dorky" Larleigh just because you are friends with Larleigh's mom. Man, I have seen that play out too many times with my kids' classmates and their parents. So glad to have dodged that.[/quote]

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